Almost 9 months ago Mark & I welcomed a wonderful little boy into our lives. In the last 9 months I've realized a few things about myself. 1- I will most likely never be as skinny as I was before having Noah (luckily Mark likes me round). 2- There will never be enough hours in the day. 3- Playing silly baby games will always be more important than a clean house....the list goes on and on. However one of the biggest things I've had to realize is weather I like it or not I am a working Mom. I am fortunate to have a wonderful babysitter for Noah who showers him with love the hours I am away from him. Even knowing this there is a small sense of jealousy every time a mother comes in and states her job as "homemaker" how I long for that to be my job. When Mark and I decided to have kids we knew that me staying home was most likely not going to happen for YEARS, the Lord let us know even if this be the case the time for our family to grow was now. So we have a wonderful little man who I can't imagine my life without and I work part time. A few instances in the last few months have made me realize one further thing about my realizing I am a working Mom, I need to accept this and stop living in the hope of one day I'll be home for every moment of my kids life and not miss firsts but for now I am not and firsts will be missed but I'll get to experience them as first for me because otherwise I am missing lots of great little moments in Noah's life.. I have been told by others they admire my strength for leaving Noah and working. This should make me feel great about myself right, wrong! Each time I hear this comment by heart sinks a bit more because of the deep jealousy in my heart for stay at home Mom's. This past week I had a realization that jealousy can quickly turn to anger....very bad things to have in ones heart. I am working very hard to not allow this to happen, however I fear that perhaps it has a bit and along the way I have not been the greatest friend toward my friends who are blessed to stay home. I apologize for this. I am realizing that even having Noah in my life is a great blessing that many Mom's long for in there lives and here I am taking moments for granted because I work part time. Bottom line, I have learned in the last 9 months I have a wonderful family supporting us as we raise Noah and I love them...even if I have to include a babysitter in the family.